It is hard to believe that after marrying off five children, and being a grandfather of nine beautiful grandchildren, I would be faced with a choice of remarrying.  I thought that after being married for over thirty years nobody would be able to fill the void created by divorce.  But its happening.  Mazel Tov.  I am getting married again.

As a religious person I know things happen for a reason.  One door opens and you are welcome, then an unwelcome sign appears and the marriage door closes.  Life transitions, passages, and tribulations begin.  A feeling of unwholesomeness descends. A marriage, with its dreams and hopes, disappears.  It is like the sun setting but it’s not a pretty sight.  Dusk turns into night and dreams into nightmares.  Night settles into a never ending darkness.  Hope lessens and despair visits.  Melancholy, despair’s cousin, comes along once too often.  You suddenly realize that you are alone.  Your life has become a rollercoaster.  Some days good while others so bad.  It is hard to find equilibrium. 

Living as a single person you watch your home slowly becoming a sanctuary for loneliness.  A home that once bursts with life of children and grandchildren becomes quiet.  It is a strange deafening quietness.  Rooms full of toys, pictures, clothes, favorite blankets, and beds are there but there is no life or spirit to be found.  All seems sad and gone.  The children have married and left.  The empty nest now turns into an empty house.

It takes a few years to heal from a divorce.  One needs time to become mentally healthy, to feel strong enough to reenter the world of marriage.  No one really knows when you are ready.  When speaking to friends about remarrying I was told “you will truly never be ready.  Wait a few more years.”  Spend your time with making others happy and let that take the place of marriage.  You are given all kinds of advice.  What your best friends seem to be saying is you are not really a loser, just maybe you are not a winner anymore.  But they are dead wrong.

When G‑d, in His great mercifulness, decides to offer you a second chance you can meet a wonderful woman.  When this happened to me I wondered.  Is it an opportunity or is it the devil teasing me.  Can you really open a new door and welcome someone into your heart again?  Is there room for kindness, love and trust?  These are the thoughts that plague all divorcees. 

For the past year I have wondered about remarrying.  Can it happen?  Can I start over again?  So I looked to the religious writings and realized that the Bible teaches that a marriage is the wish of G‑d.  However, provisions are made for divorce and remarriage.  So marriage, divorce and second chances are, from a religious point, part of the life cycle.

This month I will marry a super fine person.  She is as caring and compassionate as can be.  She is a physician, a healer of body and soul.  She cares for her family, friends, patients and she truly cares for me.  As a widow she has the great loving knowledge of sharing and commitment.  What more can one ask for?  Starting over is a trip that may be hard but if anything the past experiences are a compass to stay on the road to renewed happiness.

My house door never really closed, it was in need of repair and now construction is over.  So come over and celebrate the continuance of life.  I am letting the sunshine in.